As a kid who was a teenager during the nineties, my musical tastes gravitated towards the alternative rock scene. I was singing Enter Sandman during the third grade (truth be told I only started listening to it because I thought that song was associated with the movie Hook) and Creep was my favorite song during the sixth grade.

Needless to say I hated the Hansons. Their song Mmmbop irritated me to no end especially since the title of that song wasn't even a real word to begin with. I thought of them as biggest poseurs in the history of rock since in my heart of hearts, you can only call yourself a rocker when you fit the ff. criteria:

• At least the age of twenty
• Been drunk in public more than once
• Performed in the dirtiest bars for a minimum of ten years where you are booed and thrown beer cans at
• Had your heart broken by some girl or guy who could never understand your love affair with music

But just when I thought that the Hansons were the last of its kind (the Moffats were never really as big as the Hansons were) we now have the Jonas Brothers in our midst. It's like the return of the Hansons except they're dating their cutesy Disney starlet counterparts. Yeeeech!!

Rock is dead people. If these kids, who currently have a song with the term "Love bug" in it, are accepted as rockers then not only is rock dead but it is rolling around in its grave.

Why oh why did the great bands have to go and retire? Or in some cases have their lead singer commit suicide?

Eddie, come back. Anthony, please take a sabbatical from being guided by the Dalai Lama and help us out. Billy, I promise to no longer diss Zwan if you kick these kids' asses from the music biz. Gavin, stop being a kept boy by Gwen and start making a new album and while you're at it please tell Shirley and rest of Garbage to get into the game again.